For those of you who don't want to hear about CJ, fine, but there's some other info at the end. (:
So I went to Peoria Thursday. Met Brandon (his best friend), who's a lovely young man and brought me flowers. Played some pool. I'm so bad at pool. Of course I'm bad at everything, so that shouldn't be too surprising...Had some alone time with CJ, which was much appreciated. Went with Brandon to see CJ do a bit of stand-up that night, and then went home and played Scene It. CJ's parents came home (they had been in Vegas) and they brought me a tee-shirt and keychain! That's so nice of them! CJ and I watched most of Casablanca, then I got tired, so we stopped it and went to bed. Me in his room, him in the basement. His parents don't know that we're used to spending the night together - Even though we're seriously just SLEEPING, he thinks they'd freak out.
Friday, finished Casablanca and played a bit of Mario Party 2. I cleaned his room while he did chores and stuff around the house. Packed up and headed up north to my area - the three adults (two parents and Grandma) in one car and me, CJ, and Kyle (his brother) in my car. Fun car ride, if not FAR too long. I drove a LOT this weekend, of course. But we played the alphabet game ("y" proved to be difficult) and sang along to the radio and eventually arrived at their hotel in Shaumburg. Had Dinner at Red Robin. Good chicken fajitas. Then CJ and I came back to my place, but I was exhausted, as was he, so we basically went straight to bed.
Saturday the two of us woke up, showered, went to lunch at Panera, and then met the rest of the family at Kyle's soccer game. Unfortunately they lost, which meant CJ couldn't stay until Monday. Went back to their hotel so Kyle could shower, then we went and played mini-golf. It was quite fun! I think I'm getting better too, I only ended up five over par. Heh. By some act of fate, I ended up being able to find Max&Erma's, where Liz and I ate last weekend, even though I was paying NO attention to where we were. At dinner, a balloon man made me a penguin, CJ a cookie monster, Kyle a snapping frog, and Mr. Tuor a "hot lips" hat. Good stuff. We went to see if we could catch a movie, but that didn't work out, so they went back to the hotel and CJ and I went home. I gave him a back massage because his back was hurting him. We watched most of Bringing up Baby, but again, I was too tired to finish it. It's like a trend with me. So we went to sleep.
Sunday we woke up WAY early to finish Bringing up Baby, which, btw, is a REALLY good movie. Very funny. I liked it a lot, and Katherine Hepburn was awesome. We stopped at Jewel for chocolate soda, because CJ wanted to try it. I promptly had a can explode all over my lap. Stopped for gas, and then back at my house real quick to change pants. Right as we were leaving, Mr. Tuor called to say that the game was on a three hour delay because of the rain. It wasn't quite raining yet, so I took CJ to Lilacia Park to show him the loveliness that is Lombard/flowers/Rastus. We were just deciding to go to breakfast when Mr. Tuor called again saying that the ENTIRE SOCCER TOURNAMENT was cancelled. Huge bummer. We met the family at IHOP, and the six of us had breakfast and then went to see "The Day After Tomorrow." Wow. What an awful script. The dialogue was seriously just awful, CJ and I were laughing almost the whole time. Good special effects and acting, but man, worst dialogue EVER. Then the six of us played indoor mini-golf, where I actually got a hole-in-one! Hoorah!
Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to CJ at that point. They went back down to Peoria, and I tried really hard not to cry in front of his family. It's hard. I don't get upset because of any logical reasons, I just miss him. I so love spending time with him, and we had a good 3 1/2 days this time, and then when I have to say goodbye, I realize how lonely I am when he isn't around. But I'll see him again June 18th, hopefully.
The best parts of this weekend:
*Brandon's 2 entrances - The first one with breath spray, the second with flowers
*Both movies we watched at our homes
*CJ's hearing impaired/braille mix-up
*Chitty Chitty Zeus Zeus
*Balloon animals!
*A really good amount of time with his family, who, hopefully, still like me!
*Two Block Radius Disorder
*More than anything, waking up with CJ's arms around me. *smiles*
Oh, and his brother not only cracked the code that we've been spending the night together, but also that we're very much in love. Both things that CJ thought his parents would freak about. So we'll see what happens.
So, in other news...I was hired at Bed Bath and Beyond, and I start orientation Tuesday night. Hopefully, that will go well. I'm feeling so lazy. I definitely need obligations, or else I'll turn into a big couch potato and sleep all day.
Most excitingly (I guess), I'm getting my tonsils out June 16th. Hopefully that will be fine, though the doctor said I won't be able to eat solid food for about a week. I'm taking four days off of work, which is why CJ's coming down the 18th and staying a few days with me. And hopefully, this will be the end of my annoying swollen throat.
*sigh* Long post, I know. So, in short: New job, tonsils out, miss and love CJ. The end.
So I know you're all DYING to hear about my weekend, right? Here it is.
CJ arrived Saturday around 11:45, as scheduled. Good for him, being all on time and such. I ran out into the driveway, he hopped out of the car and gave me a huge hug and kiss, and I tried really hard not to cry. We hung around for a while before people started coming to my birthday party. Long story short, CJ ended up meeting my aunts Lisa and Rose, my uncles Steve and Mike, my cousin Taylor, my aunt's sister Julie, and Julie's son, Jacob. Probably my favorite thing about this entire weekend was watching CJ play with Jacob. Jacob is around two, and CJ was so amazing with him. Like, Jacob just latched on to him. It was so great. I almost melted. A few friends also stopped by, which was fabulous (yay for friends!), so CJ met Nettie, Mitch, and Leeny of course, and re-met Eric and Jeff. Oh, and of course, he met my mother for the first time.
Let's play a game, shall we? It's called "How do I impress my girlfriend's mother?" CJ's answer is "buy her flowers." Yes, not only did he bring me a dozen roses, he brought MY MOM a dozen roses. Come ON. How adorable is that?
So yeah, party party party, everyone left, CJ and I watched "The One With the Holiday Armadillo" (FRIENDS, of course) and most of "The Apartment" (which I had bought on Friday with my Leenster), and then went to sleep. I'm convinced that I will never find anything better in this world than falling asleep and waking up next to CJ. It just makes me SO happy. Ridiculously happy.
So we hung around a bit more and then went to breakfast, which was pretty pathetic considering that I was feeling really sick at the time. (My throat is starting to close up again, so I have to go to the doctor tomorrow and see about getting my tonsils taken out.) So yeah, I wasn't feeling well, but CJ enjoyed his breakfast and I enjoyed putting mine in a take-out box. We went back home and I called Pier 1, who told me that they didn't know why Kara (the manager I interviewed with last week who said she would call me Friday) didn't call me Friday, but they'd give me a call later that day. They didn't, of course, but that's all right. I'll stop by tomorrow. ANYWAY, so CJ and I went for a little walk, which I thoroughly enjoyed. It reminded me of being at school and just getting to walk and talk with him and hold his hand. I reminisced a bit about my childhood, pointed out some famous Lombard landmarks (becuase there are SO many), and then we walked down the parade route for a bit. He actually seemed fairly impressed by the Lilac Parade, or at least the Monopoly float. (: Ran into Jenny Babula and Kelly Szajda, neither of which I've seen in, like, forever. CJ and I went back to my house and finished "The Apartment" (because I was too tired last night), and let me tell you, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Good movie. GREAT writing. Jack Lemmon was awesome in it. So I wrote him out directions to get back home, he said bye to my folks, I shed a few tears, and he departed. He just called me an hour or so ago, so he did get home safe. Good.
So...Yeah. I was so happy to see him. And I'm so happy to feel like nothing changed, and he still loves me so much, and I still love him so much, and all is well in the world. And it still feels like summer should be over already. How do I still have 90 days? I WANNA GO BACK TO NORMAL NNNNOOWWWWW!!! But tomorrow I'm going to the doctor so my throat will stop closing, stopping by Pier 1, probably stopping by Archiver's to interview there as well, going to Wal-Mart to spend my gift certificate and get season 3 of FRIENDS, stopping by Barnes and Nobles to begin spending my gift certificate on scripts, and coming back home to sit around and miss my friends. Leeny's in Sweden, CJ's in Peoria, and no one else loves me. *sobs hysterically* Naw, I just miss people, 'tis all.
Yes. So. I have a dozen roses sitting on my desk, pictures of my adorable boyfriend coloring with my two year old cousin, and a hickey on the left side of my neck. This weekend was wonderful. And I'll see him again next week...Sometime...
Wow, updating two days in a row? It's madness!
I called CJ AGAIN this morning crying. This is, like, the twentieth time I've called him in the past four days crying. (OK, that's an exaggeration...it's really just the nineteenth...) So I think that if I can write about what's bothering me so much, and maybe some of you lovely friends will understand, I'll feel better. Because this can't go on much longer. CJ's being so patient and so good with me, and I feel awful about making him listen to me whine constantly. That's not me. That's a side of me I hate, and a side of me that hasn't come out in a long time. So here goes.
I'm upset mostly because moving is just a hard transition for me. In general, I don't like to go back and forth between places so often. When I packed up my dorm and said goodbye to Watterson, I lost a part of me that I've been in for 9 months, you know? The stuff on my walls, the way it was decorated, the memories associated with that room and really my whole sophomore year...I lost it all. And right now, I'm not ready to be back in Lombard full time. But I'm not ready to be in Normal full time, either. And I don't have an apartment over the summer, so I don't have the option of going down periodically to stay a few days or anything. Plus, that would require me to have a car. So right now, I'm stuck here for 95 more days, somewhere that I'm not ready to be, waiting to go back to ISU.
Not only is there this feeling of not knowing where I belong full time, but there's the fact that I had to say goodbye to friends that I won't see nearly often enough over the summer, like Lizzy, my theatre friends, and even the people from Lombard that don't hang out with me when I'm home. I love ISU because anywhere I go, I run into someone I know. Or if I'm upset, I can go to airport and get hugs and people will listen to me. Or I can stay in the room and Lizzy's there for me. Now, no one's here. I probably will only see Lizzy a few times, I haven't seen any of my Lombard friends yet (not that I have that many), and Charleen is only coming home for, like, two days before she goes to Sweden. So I'm lonely. There's just no one around.
It's also hard for me to not be in a routine yet. I'm a very routine oriented person, and this is the week where I'm just kind of in between school and summer. Job interviews, appointments, etc, but I haven't yet established my routine. So while I'm sitting around or unpacking or watching TV, I have nothing else to do but be sad about the people I miss.
Of course, I hugely miss CJ. I miss seeing him every day. I miss him hugging me. I miss waking up to his arms around me. I miss kissing him and looking in his eyes and just knowing that he loves me as much as I love him. But that's a very small part of why I've been so emotional lately, and I don't think I've done a good job of expressing that. I've been talking about how much I miss CJ, and I do. But it's not JUST that I miss CJ. If it was just that, I'd probably be doing all right, especially considering we've talked every night so far. But there's such an accumulation of transitions going on right now, and I just feel really out of place and really alone.
I refuse to call CJ crying again. It's ridiculous of me to keep doing that to him. I know he loves me, and I know he's willing to listen to me. But I feel bad because first of all, it's going to get old. He'll get sick of listening to me whine, and honestly, I don't blame him. And second of all, during this state where we both miss each other so terribly, all I'm doing is making him upset because he can't just hold me and fix everything. I know he wants to be able to put his arms around me and make me smile, and it's got to be difficult for him not being able to do that. SO. From now on, the crying will stop. And if the crying doesn't stop, I'll at least call Leeny or Lizzy instead. Because of course I'll talk to CJ every night. It makes me so happy to talk to him every night. And if I happen to cry during that conversation, then fine. But I refuse to call him every single day in the early afternoon sobbing hysterically anymore. It's ridiculous.
So I guess that's what's been going on lately, for those of you who were wondering. Oh, and today's my birthday. I feel old. Another transition, of course. Too much happening inside of me right now, and not enough people here to hug me.
I'll see CJ again in four days...*waits patiently and stifles the sobs*
So I'm home now, and my birthday is tomorrow, and I'm unpacking. That pretty much sums up the past few days. (: I of course miss all of my friends, and I REALLY miss CJ, but I'm feeling a lot better now. And CJ will be here for sure on Saturday for my birthday party, which is great. I'm really looking forward to seeing him.
Tomorrow, I have an interview at Pier 1. Wish me luck! After that, I have a hair cut - Yay! I can't wait to get rid of a good five or six inches. Besides that, this week just consists of getting my life back here together. Unpacking and cleaning and such. I don't feel like my room here reflects who I am anymore, but at the same time, I'm not too keen on putting in the time to change that considering that I won't be living here much longer. So we'll see how much motivation I have. Oh, I suppose I should call the Simmi's, too. I need money ASAP.
Here's my two latest LJ entries, if you want to read my shoutouts and the "what I've learned this year" list. Other than that, I'm going to go unpack some more...
Shoutouts
What I've Learned
Helloooo, children! I suppose it's been a while, so I'll update...But I'll make it brief, and Tarzan/Jane style, so you don't have to read a billion things. Oooh, and I'll number everything.
1. Mock Prom last night. Surprised CJ by dressing up as Query (he was The Riddler). Loved the look on his face when he saw me. Love CJ. Mucho. Had fun, but feet hurt a lot. Danced. Sang. Everyone looked great. Goldfarbs + Slides = Awesome. Nice songs this year, Matt and Tom. CJ won Goldfarb for Best Ted Performer. I'm so proud! Stayed at his place again last night. Love waking up next to him.
2. Dance concert = awesome! Loved every single piece. Anaya, awesome choreography, very Skriker-esque to me. LOVED Daphne's piece. Duet with Ed and random Iowa dancer was absolutely beautiful. So moving. Degas piece very inspired. Last piece SHOULD HAVE WON AT ACDFA!
3. Arms and the Man was good. Loved everything they did with it, but not too fond of the script, or maybe just not too fond of it being played as a farce. LOVED Greg. Wished Corrie had a better part this semester. She did amazingly with this role, but there were more amazing roles out there. Cool jigsaw set. Jeff Blum is funny.
4. Started packing. Room looks empty. Drew Lizzy a poster. Miss my knick-knacks.
5. Last FRIENDS is this Thursday. I'll be at freshman one-acts. CJ's show and Twelve Angry Men go that night. NO ONE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED ON FRIENDS UNTIL I WATCH IT!!!
6. Finals shouldn't be bad. Doing well in my classes. Should get A's in everything but physics - maybe even physics, if I actually study. Finals done Thursday, but not leaving until Saturday. CJ's play in El Paso Friday night - He wrote it and is in it. So proud of him. He's uber talented.
7. Today is one month with CJ. So happy with him. Love him so much.
8. Sad to leave this year. Sad to leave my friends and CJ for 3 1/2 months. Peoria = Too far away. Home = Boring. But money = Good...So hopefully Pier 1 will hire me. Otherwise, nannying all summer again. Love the kids, of course, but tiring.
9. Will do end of the year shoutouts and "what I learned list" later. Now? Very tired. Getting comfy and writing. Tomorrow, 4-6 page paper and study for ed psych. Look over poems for Am. lit. Two finals Monday, two Tuesday + SM picnic, one Wednesday, one Thursday. Then? Sleep and more packing.
10. Done.