Hoorah for updates!
I have finally updated, drumroll please...a bunch of quotes sections in "naughty words" (song quotes, famous people quotes, and my friend's quotes), my profile in "I'm the green fairy", and my dream journal in "poetic enough".
Eventually, I might even update Rocky, just for Charleen's own amusement.
Well I saw Ben Tuesday night, and to make a long story short, I love him. *laughs* Well, at least I really like him...it's very cool to me that I haven't talked to him in so long, and yet, it's like nothing changed at all. We talked forever, we had dinner, we watched sleazy dating shows...and he still kisses like a motha. (I can't believe I actually just used that phrase, and it's possibly worse that it's been documented for all to see.)
Yesterday was perhaps the worst day ever...starting with a broken mirror, which condemned me to 7 years bad luck. After telling Charleen about my day, she said she's pretty sure the whole 7 years was crammed in to one day, because really, I spent the majority of the day simultaneously upset and annoyed.
But enough of that, I'm seeing Ben again tonight. And I had the cutest dream last night! If I ever feel like being cool, maybe I'll update the dream journal in "poetic enough".
I'll make this brief, yet exciting.
Today, while walking to my first class, both of my shoes broke. Simultaneously. I fell ever so gracefully (ha), stood up and picked up my shoes, and proceeded to go through 3 classes barefoot. This wouldn't have been such a huge deal if first of all, I hadn't had to walk across the quad, including VERY hot asphalt on a 95 degree day, and second of all, it was tour day in stagecraft. This meant that I got to walk through three theatre, the scene shop, and the lighting grid (a metal platform about 80 feet above the stage) without shoes. It was interesting...yet painful.
Luckily, the day got better when I received decent practicum assignments, got off of work early, and mostly finished the first draft of my gay bishop paper. And yes, I get to see Ben tomorrow!
BEN CALLED! *swoons*
We talked for, like, 40 minutes or so...it was fabulous...and we're going out Tuesday night. I can't wait.
OK guys, if you look at the time on this entry, you'll notice that it's 2:32 AM. I am NEVER up this late. And when I am up this late, I get very philosophical...so bear with me. This will be a long one.
I have been WAY pissy and antisocial the past several days. I know it's because I'm stretching myself too thin - in fact, several of my friends have already pinned the date of my eminent nervous breakdown at September 10th. My roommate Elisabeth says that even if I don't feel like having a breakdown that day, I could at least come back from work and throw a few things around. That totally counts. I am greatly amused by this, and yet, I can't help but feel that it's sad for all of your friends to think you'll have a nervous breakdown in, like, the 3rd week of school - they're not wrong, though. In fact, they might be too late.
I don't know why exactly, but I've been majorly snapping at Joe the past couple of days. I always feel bad about that because he virtually never deserves it - I just have the tendancy to really be a bitch to him. I've been upset because he never calls me back, he never listens to me, and he doesn't pay enough attention to me...all of which greatly frightens me because I'm starting to treat him like my boyfriend or something. And if that isn't the last problem I want to encounter, I don't know what is. I mean, where do I get the right to treat a 34 year old married man the same way I do my 19 year old co-dependant love interests? And for some reason, I can't stop treating him this way. I try to be logical, but when I talk to him, that intelligent side of me goes out the window. If I was his wife, I'd hate me. Hell, I'm ME and I hate me. Would someone please tell me why I'm doing this?
Scratch that...I'm well-versed enough in psychology to know why I'm doing this. I just don't want to face it.
On a only semi-related topic, I'm feeling very abandoned by all of my friends from home. No one calls me back, no one asks me how my classes are, and as far as qbiz goes, the people involved only want to talk qbiz and not tell me anything important about life in general.
I'm at a loss for human contact as well. I never thought that physical touch was such an important love language for me, but all I've wanted to do the past few days is run up to random people and ask them to hold me. I miss Ben, and I miss the way I could fall asleep in his arms, and it was so beautiful to me.
Ben hasn't called me back.
My friends say I have 18 days until my nervous breakdown...I predict it will happen next week.
Hey, kiddies! This morning, I was planning a blog post involving a list of all of the people I think should die. Not people themselves, just the qualities they need to posess in order for me to damn them. However, I had a surprisingly good day, which significantly changed my mood. So right now, I'm going to describe a really great experience I had at work.
Lately, it seems all the buzz is a deaf kid who's living in Manchester. From what I understand he is completely deaf, and doesn't wear a hearing aid because even that gives him no sound. This isn't particularly exciting to me, seeing as I am hearing impaired and I sign and all, but everyone else is really excited and trying to learn basic signs and stuff. So today I finally got to meet this guy, which was much less mudane than I was expecting. Most of the deaf or hearing impaired people that I associate with have some degree of difficulty finding a place in the hearing world. This boy, whose name is Vinny, is unbelievably well adjusted. When he came in, he was with a few friends who were talking to another host, and I got his attention and started signing to him. I told him I was hearing impaired too, and we signed for a little while, just introducing ourselves and where we live this year...he left with his friends, it was a brief conversation obviously, but I was just really surprised at how totally normal he seems. And I don't mean that in a bad way at all, but like I said, many deaf people I know have difficulties adapting to the hearing culture. The same is true of any disability, or quirk, or anything. And he was so incredibly nice and seemed really happy to meet me, someone who actually knows sign and kind of understands, to some degree, what life for him is like. Not to mention that he's UNBELIEVABLY good looking. Smile to die for. I'm hoping to get to know him better...(:
So it's a Friday night, and Elisabeth and I are sitting here watching Sense and Sensability. I'm about to start some homework. We're losers, I know...what can I say? Todd (Elisabeth's "boyfriend") is coming down tomorrow, which will be nice. He's a good guy, I'm sure we'll chat for a while and then I'll leave the two of them alone to, I don't know, tear each other's clothing off.
And something was revealed to me last night for the first time, even though it's been denied for several years. I knew I was right.
Rednecks
Circle I Limbo
The jerk who invented FOI
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind
The Great Indoors - Lombard, IL
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow
Skinny girls who constantly diet
Circle IV Rolling Weights
Avril Lavigne
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled
River Styx
Osama bin Laden
Circle VI Buried for Eternity
River Phlegyas
Andrew Lloyd Weber
Circle VII Burning Sands
Republicans
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement
Saddam Hussein
Circle IX Frozen in Ice
I can't even believe that today is the first day of classes, and I'm already this exhausted.
4 classes on Mondays. Citizens and Governance, which was fine. Stagecraft, which was fine. Voice, which was fine. Children's lit, which was fine.
The problems begin when you realize that these classes go straight from 11 AM to 3:50 PM...and I start work at 4. And don't get off until 8:30...if I'm lucky.
Que sera sera, right? But it only gets worse from here. Besides the 19 credit hours that leave me no time to eat, I'll soon begin all of the OTHER stuff I do, besides class and work. I'm showing plans. I have to work on 2 shows. I might be cast in a 3rd, not to mention freestage productions. I want to do mafia.
And oh yeah...I want a SOCIAL LIFE.
This kind of bites.
I love QBiz.
I'm very tired right now, it's almost 1 AM and I start classes tomorrow...but I just wanted to do a very short update. Last night, I went to the BDS (business development seminar) in Wheaton. We have one every month, and this month, the featured speaker was C.L. Foster. For those of you not in the business, C.L. is basically a God. He is so rich, and so successful, and so incredibly motivating. I took 4 pages of notes from him. I'm really excited to go for 1,500 in September...and I really think I can do it! If I can just break it down for my downlines...
When I got to go on stage, as scared to death as I was, it was so nice to look out and see, like, 600 people that I don't even know cheering me on. When I got off stage, it was amazing to have my entire upline and downline waiting to hug me and congratulate me. The support in this business is unbelievable. I don't know what I'd do without them. And Joe...my God, Joe, I love you too much. Thank you for all of your help, you're amazing.
Today, I cleaned my dorm room, which is finally looking mostly put together. I wish it would stop being, like, 95 degrees...I'm sweating so much, it's just disgusting. Not to mention that the air in our room hates us.
On the plus side, we tried to put up a crappy tension rod today, which only proved to be hilarious. There is no describing the laughter that ensued. Luckily, Liz took pictures on my camera so I can remember the moment forever. Hilarity also ensued when we went to the poster sale in the student center, and I found a poster I'd never seen before entitled "first kiss", featuring a mother giraffe kissing her baby on the head. Search this in google - I swear, I laughed every time I looked at it. I laugh thinking about it. I need to find a smaller version of it that I can afford.
I got first callbacks for Electra. I'm called back for the general chorus role, which isn't a huge part of course, but it's still a compliment to be called back. I swear though, I only get called back for movement roles because I have a dancer's build - boy, are the director's surprised when they learn I can't even touch my toes. I'd love to make this show, though. I'd have to quit Parrot's Echo, but...decisions, decisions...
Children, I need some sleep. Tomorrow begins a semester of hell...*thinks about giraffes and snickers*
To begin this lovely blog entry, I would like to state that I learned today that Mr. Joseph Simmons has my site bookmarked. So Joe, if you're reading this, kisses to you.
So I'm driving home from the Simmi's house today (crying, of course, because I'm an emotional loser) and I take a sip of my "several hours old" diet coke. The diet coke that has been sitting in my very hot car for about 2 hours while I was playing with Danny and Emily and trying not to cry. Heh. And this diet coke tastes AWFUL. Like, I don't drink or anything, but I would imagine this is about what it would taste like if you mixed, like, warm beer with warm diet coke. NOT good. And I'm thinking, "gosh, WHY does this taste so terribly bitter?" and then I have a flashback. There's an image of me, giving a speech first semester, on the dangers of drinking too much diet soda. And I see myself, in front of the classroom, saying something like, "According to this source, aspartame, a key sweetener in diet soda, begins to turn in to fermeldehyde if kept in warm temperatures too long."
I spit my coke out.
Sometimes I really want to be 26, and married, and settled, and with living a real life. Today was one of those days.
I made pretty pens!
Hey there! Several updates, for those of you who actually read this - are there any of you? I'm just wondering. I know my life isn't particularly exciting.
Update number one: My family is out of the dark ages! On Wednesday we got satellite TV, and as of last night, we have DSL! Wahoo! Not that this does a lot for me, since I leave in 10 days...but still, it's nice that we've adapted to technology. I'm watching TLC and connecting quickly to the internet and both of these make me very happy.
Update number two: I'm a 1,000 pin! For those of you not involved in qbiz, that basically means that me and the people below me did an awful lot of work in one month and got recognized for it. It's quite an accomplishment. I got to go across stage at the net sem Thursday and make a fool out of myself and everything. (: But yay for me and my team! QBiz rocks!
Update number three: Tomorrow, I get my wisdom teeth out. All four of them. Three are impacted. I am NOT looking forward to this. So I'll probably disappear off the face of the planet for a few days...feel free to call my cell phone and leave me messages of encouragement.
And Update number four: My summer of nannying is over, which always makes me sad. We had a lot of fun this summer. I always miss the kids so much when I have to go back to school. Diane and Joe too, of course, but those kids...I just adore them. It's tough for me to say goodbye. I'm always afraid that at least Emily will forget me, especially considering that they have Rachel, the new baby-sitter, while I'm gone. And Emily likes Rachel. I don't want to feel replaced. At any rate, they're in Michigan right now, so I'll have to say goodbye when they get back.
10 days...